Tag: funny
Nineteen eighty something.
As I was sitting next to my 3 year old daughter last night, I watched how she skillfully maneuvered her way through all the apps on my phone to find her game. I have trouble finding the app I need and here she is just flying through them.
When i was her age, the year was 1982. Average monthly rent was $320.00, gas was .91cents, a sony 19 inch color tv was $499 and the biggest selling album of all time, Thriller, came out by Michael Jackson. Comparing life for 3 year old me vs 3 year old her is apples to oranges. Cell phone, what’s that? Google? Ours was called the Britannica Encyclopedia. The only app people heard of was applications for a job. Our games where played on a flimsy piece of cardboard while hers is on a 6 by 3 inch phone.
The other day I noticed a book mobile in one of the parking lots. Kids going in and out, with or without a book in hand. Growing up, I visited the book mobile a few times. It parked right outside our apartment building. Now when i say i visited the book mobile, it wasn’t for books. It was to delay the whoopin or what not that i had waiting for me. lol
I laugh because as soon as we walk through the door, my daughter kicks off her shoes and goes looking for the remote like it owes her money. Once she finds it, shes like a damn cable technician, flipping through the channels with ease. The only time i could find the remote growing up was by looking in the mirror. At the time, you had to change the channels with the dial. And god forbid you only had bunny ears cause then you were the remote AND the antenna.
I always wondered why kids of today can’t pass their classes. The information they need is at their finger tips. It’s not like they have to a library and look through the Index to find a book that may or may not have the information you need ripped out of the damn book.
It’s crazy how there are about 2 generations that have no idea how to make a book cover or a paper Fortune Teller. The other thing I find crazy is how these kids need a safe space, or can’t watch or talk about certain events because they might get “triggered”. Really? We watched a damn space shuttle blow up, live on tv. We didn’t get a safe space. We got ready for lunch lol. We were taught how to hid under our desk to shield us from broken flying glass in the event of a bomb being dropped by our friends in the USSR. Now they’re taught how to shield themselves from an active shooter. Kinda fucked up huh.
I’ll write more later, I’m off to bed.
A letter to my unborn child.
Dear ***********
Your mother is in the living room sleeping on the couch because you are making it too uncomfortable for her to sleep on the bed, guess you can say you are already being difficult. I on the other hand, am sitting here in the bedroom thinking how much my life is going to change when you finally come into this world. I’ve stated before that I started a new chapter in the book of life when I started to date your mother, but you little girl, are going to be a whole new book. A book that I never thought I would have in my hands.
I sit here wondering what you are going to look like. We’ve seen ultrasound pictures, but those are just pixels on a piece of paper. Will you have my eyes? Will you have your moms’ lips? Hopefully you have her hair, although your mom has already said she hopes you don’t.
When your mother said she was pregnant, I knew that my life was no longer about me, it was about you. People have told me that I am going to spoil you, and they’re probably right, but I’m also going to be hard on you. I’m going to be hard on you because my job is to be your father, not your friend. You won’t understand that for probably the first 20 years of your life, but you will.
You’re coming into this world with a mom who is going to love and care for you tremendously. I know this because she already does the same with your brother and sister. Your mom is very chill…as long as you listen. So, my advice to you is to do what your told. Cause honestly, I don’t want to hear your mom yell.
As for the other people in the family, they will love you in their own way. I’m sure your brother and sister will pick on you just as I picked on your aunts. And I know your grandparents are going to spoil the heck out of you and it’s going to upset me when I tell them no to something and they’ll do it anyways. But that’s ok, it their job as grandparents.
As for me, your dad. Well… I’m going to cheer you on as you take your first steps. I’m going to cheer you on as you ride your bike for the first time without your training wheels. I’m going to cheer you on when you get stage fright in the school play. I’m going to cheer you on as you walk to get your diploma.
I’m going to support you when you do a goofy volcano for a science project. I’m going to support you when you choose what career you are going to go to college for. I’m going to support you when you tell me you are in love with your boyfriend…. or girlfriend.
I’m going to love you the moment our eyes meet in the delivery room. I’m going to love you when you draw on the wall. I’m going to love you when you don’t get an “A” in math. I’m going to love you when you tell me you hate me as you slam your bedroom door. I’m going to love you when you start to date a boy that I disapprove of. I know all of this because I love you more than anything in the world right now and we haven’t even met.
Love,
Dad
ImSayin 