Made you look!

Today sucks balls.  I have that “i don’t give a shit” attitude right now and I know that’s not good.

First issue of the day, let’s talk about school.  I have one class left for my masters degree.  Guess who ran out of financial aid money?  This guy.  So not only do I have to pay uncle sam back for this bs degree, but now i have to pay out of pocket for my last class.  I damn near begged my school for a scholarship, but they weren’t having it.  Basically it’s shit in one hand, wish in the other.  I have no idea what i’m going to do with this degree other than hang the paper on the wall next to my bachelors.

So here I am, creating a  gofundme account for $1700 bucks to help pay for my last term and not a single donation.  (Mind you, i’m not working right now and only get my military disability as income, and i deleted that go fund me account).  Yet, this arrogant fuck, Kanye West can whine that he is $53 million in debt and some ass tard sets him up a go fund me and it reached a little over $8000 as of this writing.  Society has their priorities fucked.

comfort_Rheem_BillboardSpeaking of school, for my class I just had, I had to make a bullshit marketing billboard that dealt with suicide awareness and come up with a name for it. I felt this assignment was a joke, so i treated it as such.

 

 

 

Second issue of the day is the damn TSA. I’m still waiting on a response from them on if I’ll be able to move on to the next step of the job qualifications.  They had to put my medical on hold due to my diabetes.  They said i had to get a pass from my doctor saying that i was in ok health with diabetes.  My doctor passed me and now i’ve been waiting for a month to find out the results from TSA.  I understand that with it being a federal job, it’s going to be hurry up and wait like the military was.

Third issue of the day.  I spoke to my dad again yesterday about the possibility of moving to TX.  He said “well son, you have to do what you have to do”.  That’s the problem, if i did what i had to do, I would have robbed a fkn bank already…can’t pay the bills with monopoly money.  As much as i talk about wanting to move to TX, the big problem I have is that I have so many relatives that are getting up there in age, I don’t want to get a phone call saying one passed, then having to come up with funds to fly back here.  This leads me to my fourth issue of the day.

Fourth issue of the day.  Death is inevitable. I was at my aunt’s house last night where my grandparents live.  While there, my grandpa said something to my aunt that really struck a chord with me.  I won’t say what is was, but it further cemented the truth that people are only here for certain amout of time…then poof you’re gone.  It would be nice to have people in your life forever, but physically it’s not possible.  Of course you can be hooked up to a machine and let it live for you,but it’s just a body, not a person.  Its funny that here i am worried about how I or my family is going to be when other people in our family passes, when after I write this blog, I could get into a head on collision and….

 

 

We interrupt this program….

Originally written in 2012, updated 2016.

I was driving past a group of school students today and it occurred to me how screwed up our society is.  Our generation (X)  is to blame..why?  Lets think about this.   18 years ago i graduated high school.  Our generation started the baggy pants hangin off our ass look.  We had the “gangster” movies, such as Menace to Society, Boyz  in the Hood, Colors, Reservoir Dogs, south central…etc.  NWA was saying ” Fuck the Police”  We heard Ice T scream ” Cop Killer”, who ironically played a cop on NBC.  Ice Cube was  preaching “I didn’t even have to use my A-K, Today was a good day”.  Now he stars in Disney movies. Tupac and Snoop said ” ain’t  nothin but a gangsta party”.  Tupac is dead and Snoop doesn’t really do much of anything.

Rap music hasn’t changed in the past 18 years….it’s the same shit just recycled.  You can rap about ass, titties, bitches and what not for only so long.  Music today is garbage.  Freddie Mercury wrote “Bohemian Rhapsody” by himself.  Then you look at “Run the World (Girls)” by Beyonce and it list Adidja Palmer, Beyoncé Knowles, David Taylor, Nick van de Wall, Shea Taylor,Terius Nash and Wesley Pentz as co-writers.  Why the hell does it take 7 people to write a 4 minute song?

When I was in Junior High, the internet was just getting started. Of course, not the internet of today.  No social media. No music downloads.  No buying things online.  If we needed to look up something for school we had to go to the library and get a book.  We didn’t have Google to answer every question for us.  Kids today wouldn’t know how to use an index, or what it’s like to use a paper bag as a book cover.

Those 9, 10, 11 year olds i saw today are carbon copies of who we were 18 years ago.  Only now it’s our fault they can’t write, read, or talk properly.  I know that i don’t always use proper English or that i might use slang in my writings,  but when i am around kids, i do try to use proper English.  When did our generation get lazy with raising kids?  Growing up, if someone’s mom came out yelling you knew damn well every one of us was going to get yelled at.  That’s not the case today though. The government has put the power in the kids hands, however some parents think their kids can do no wrong.  “Not my baby, he/she knows better”.  yada yada yada.  It’s like we want the schools to babysit the students but when it comes time for the schools to be the “parent” and discipline the students, all hell breaks loose.  We are seeing this now with the entitlement generation.  Instead of laughing at how the prior generations did things, they are trying to change our history so they don’t get offended.  Schools can’t give out Ds or Fs because it will make the kid feel stupid…no shit, that’s the point.  It’s letting you know you need to buckle down.  Can’t play tag at recess because you’re not suppose to touch someone without their permission.  All kids get an award in sports even if they lose, can’t ruin their self esteem. Just yesterday I read a story on how you are not supposed to make your child hug a family member if they don’t want to, because it sends them a message that it’s ok for someone to touch them even if they don’t like it.  Get the fuck out of here with that bullshit.  If I see my nieces or nephews come in the house without giving my parents a kiss or hug hello,  I yell at them.   It’s called respecting your elders.

All we are doing is setting our kids up for failure when they reach society and realize they are stupid and they are not always going to get praised for coming in second.  These are the same kids who are going to end up shooting up people because they didn’t get their way and they can’t handle the pressure or rejection.

As for the current Entitlement generation, we need to stop allowing them to change history.  Here’s the thing though, we made them who they are. We gave in to them, when really a simple no would have worked.  Now you have a bunch of young adults who want everything for free or want things exactly how they want it, with no chance of a compromise.   This is one reason why Bernie Sanders is so popular with the youth.  They want free college and $15 minimum wage, and they don’t care that you have to rob Peter to pay Paul.  They don’t understand that Peter is going to go broke one day because you sucked his wallet dry.

Our country was built on the strength of each generation learning from the prior’s mistakes, and building off of it.  That’s not the case anymore.  These kids today are going to be the ones that we are going to have to rely on to care for us when we become seniors.  To be honest, that’s scary.

Random things on my mind…

 

Kids today will never know the following things…

The scary sound of the National Anthem being played at midnight when stations would conclude their broadcasting for the day.

Hearing Harry Carey mispronounce damn near everyone’s name.

Pouring a box of your favorite cereal and sitting in front ofthe tv to watch Saturday morning cartoons.  (Or in my case, having to eat nasty ass rice crispy’s) You could turn on ABC and be set for four hours of awesomeness. There is something about hearing ABC’s bumper that is nostalgic.   

Of course, if you were lucky enough to have cable, you could watch the Cartoon Express.

Kids today will never know the feeling of having to get up to change the channel on the cable box, sit down, and having to get up to change the channel again, because their parent doesn’t want to get off the couch.

Knowing that when you see this on HBO, it was about to go down.

Feeling the sting of a big rubber ball against your face because you were too slow to move during dodge ball or smear the queer.  Come to think about it, smear the queer probably wasn’t the most appropriate name.

We had one WGN and it played all the Cubs game.  And rest easy knowing that Kevin Sorbo is Hercules.

Running to answer the phone, only for the caller to have hung up and you have no clue who just called since there was no caller ID.

Being on a time limit while on the world wide web.  And hearing this beautiful sound.

And then hearing someone yell “i’m trying to use the phone, get off”

Playing outside without having to worry about getting shot or kidnapped.

Actually being scared of parent teacher conferences.  Knowing that you’ll probably get an ass whoopin when you get home.  Or in my case, get that whoopin right there in school.

Sticks and stones may break my bones, but words will never hurt me.  (now these little shits need a “safe zone” to be free of hurtful words. lol Ridiculous.)

Buying a pack of cigs for your mom.

Going through airport security without getting felt up.

Making friends with the kids in the neighborhood by actually going outside, not sending a friends request.

Getting picked for the Grand Prize Game.

Hiding under a blanket so your parents don’t have to pay for you at the drive in.

Blowing into a NES cartridge.

Not being medicated for every little thing.

Sticking a pencil in a tape to rewind or fast forward.  Or…to just see how fast you can do it, till it flies off the pencil.

Going to school with 3 feet of snow or 100 degrees out.

Just being a kid and not having to worry about all of society’s problems.

 

 

4/29/2015

1. Finally found a job.  Where at? I’m not saying lol  The reason why I would get in trouble with my other job is because they kept reading some of the things i would put on here.  So yeah, not mentioning it. I will say that it is in loss prevention and that the money is not too bad.  They actually gave me the salary that i was looking for.

2.  I’m back in school mode. I want to bust my ass and get the shit done and move on.  I did fail my last term but that is my fault and my fault only.  I just didn’t care.  Now though, new job, new way of thinking.  It’s going to be hard down the stretch, but well worth it.  Or so I’ve been told.

3.  A girl that i know has to move out of the place she is renting due to it being sold.  She has nowhere to go and that sucks.  I know first hand how that it is.  I went from the military, to living with my Aunt, to my dads, to my sisters basement to my mother in laws basement to where I am now.  I wish I could help her.  I do have an extra room in my apartment, but I know my wife wouldn’t go for it.  Not saying she would be wrong to say no, just saying i know how it is to have to wonder what else can go wrong.

4. Freddie Gray, of course I was going to go there.  Freddie was arrested for…well that’s the thing, we really don’t know. Speculation is, is that he ran because of his record.  He was caught, put in the police van and transported. A few witnesses say that he was complaining of his leg hurting when being taken away.  This however does not explain how a guy who complained of a hurt leg, ended up dead due to spinal injuries.

4.5   It’s funny to me in a sad way that this man’s rap sheet has been released, as if it brings justification to his death. Does it really matter?  He could of had 40 arrest, or 0.  What does matter is how you go from living to dead while in custody.  This leads me to Baltimore where some call it protest, while others call it riots. I’m all for protesting, as long as it is done peacefully.  The problem that we have in Baltimore is that the media only picked up on the highschool aged “protesters” who ended up rioting.  11053469_10205453155140541_6729628925779625340_n 11169892_10205453160620678_285763273448683240_nThe difference between these pics are that in the 60’s there was a bond in the community. They fought for the love and respect of each other. Today though, these fucktards do what they do because they know a camera is watching them and society has glorified being a thug…or as i like to call it “being a fucking idiot”.

5. “All they are doing is destroying their own community.”  When you don’t have self worth for yourself, you can’t have it for your community.  If you live in poverty and cant purchase and enjoy the things that are being shown in the window fronts of these businesses, of course you’re not going to care about them.  A majority of these business are white owned, and unfortunately there is no connection to them. Yes, they are burning down a community, but it’s the community that has feed off of them.   Don’t get me wrong, I think it’s dumb as hell to burn down your own community, but there is a reason behind it.

6. Why don’t they protest black on black crime?  That’s easy, the media cold give two shit about that.

7.  We don’t have to worry about ISIS destroying us, just ourselves.

4/21/2015

Yes, it has been a long while since I’ve posted.  As usual I’m sitting in Starbucks drinking my cool lime refresher.  For some strange reason the Starbucks on Kimberly doesn’t make it as good as the one in Moline.  Lets get started with Things on My Mind…

1.  Jobs-  I have an interview tomorrow 4/22 and on Thursday.  I’m done with this bouncing from job to job shit.  I’m going full career mode.  I have so much respect for those that have stayed with one job for 10+ years.  I read somewhere that generation millennials go through jobs like underwear.  I’m a part of generation X by one year, but I’m on that millennial bandwagon.  Since I know how anal some of you can be, I’m not saying ALL millennials job hop.

2. School- This term sucked.  I gave up and I didn’t even have a reason to.  I think with not working, stressed, and depressed, my heart wasn’t in it.  I know this is straight up bullshit, since I wasn’t working you would think I could spend all my time on school.  Now I have to bust ass to still be able to graduate on time in December.

3.  Kids-  For some reason kids have been brought up to me numerous times these past few days.  “when are you guys going to have kids?” “Don’t you want kids?” “You guys should have three kids by now.”  I mean damn, you wouldn’t ask a blind person why they don’t own a mirror would you?  Do I wish I had kids? Of course I do.  My wife and I would be great parents.  I told my wife from the day we started dating, if I don’t have kids by the time I’m 35, I’m done.  I don’t want to be the old dad to a young kid.  My father and I are 20 years apart.  I have enough nieces and nephews to spoil like they were my own kids.

4.  I’ve been a WWF/WWE fan since I was a kid.  I can remember the excited I felt when my dad took me to my first event at Palmer Auditorium in Davenport, IA.  It was the first time I saw Macho Man Randy Savage and Miss Elizabeth.  I went to my first PPV, Payback, in chicago and took my dad.  It was exciting to have this moment with him.  Well, this sunday I’m taking my 9 year old nephew to his first PPV, Extreme Rules. I can’t wait to see the look on his face Saturday (his birthday) when he finds out he is going.

3/24/2015

Currently, i’m sitting at Panera Bread typing this, not my usual Starbucks.  I feel like im cheating.  I just got back from picking up my nieces from school and dropping them off.  I had to go in with them to use the restroom and walked out with 5 packs of girl scout cookies.  wtf?

Still no job.  I do have an interview tomorrow.  But at 35, I’m looking for something I am going to stick with. Even while having a college education, bouncing around job to job does not look good.  I think that if I had children, I would have taken the job scene more seriously.  That’s not to say im not nervous about bills , but taking care of a kid would cost a hell of lot more than what my wife and I have to worry about right now.

Earlier there was a guy on the corner of the intersection asking for money.  As i’ve stated before, I usually give them a few bucks.  It’s funny when the person behind me gets mad when its a green light and i slow down to hand them the money.  I know I could be the one standing on the corner and i hope someone would stop for me.  The same person who is bitching at me for helping this guy is probably the same person who has no problem giving 10% of their check to their church.  I find it funny when people act as though they are “saved” just because they give a donation or attend church on the regular, yet act like they are better than others the rest of the time.  I hate that churches are not taxed.  If they were, this national debt would be cleared up in a heartbeat.

I’ve started reading up on the Church of Satan.  No, i’m not turning to Satan or plan on becoming a devil worshiper.  It’s a legit religion and I wanted to know more about it.  I did the same thing with Islam.  I will say the one thing I like about the Church of Satan is that it is not thrown in your face like Christianity or Catholicism. I remember back in the 80’s when Rivera did a “news” story about satan worship.  I watched it again, thanks to youtube and it was still comedy. No, you don’t have to drink blood or sacrifice a baby. lol

I don’t understand how people can pay these expensive ass prices here at Panera.

1/16/2015

I haven’t written in awhile because i have had a few things going on in my life.  Last Friday I went to work and was told by my supervisor to come to his office.  He asked me if I was happy with my job, which i replied yes.  He said well we have heard from some of your coworkers that you are not happy.  We are going to offer you two options.  Let you resign with 2 weeks pay, or __.  <— I left that blank because at the time, i didn’t know what that other option was.  So, he tells me to take the day off with pay and to come back at the end of the school day. So all day im thinking well shit, are they going to fire me? Are they giving me the chance to save face? Fast forward to the end of the school day, I go to his office with him, along with the principal and one of the new directors.  I asked what the other option was and they stated that I was not going to be fired.  I said well were is this coming from?  They proceed to pull out a copy of some blogs that I have written on here that dealt with the students. I said what the hell does someone get paid to read my shit all day?  Not once in any of my blogs do I call a student by their name, but I understood where they were coming from with it.  Mind you I was already talked to a week after Veterans Day because i made a post on facebook to our head company saying something like “what does a veteran have to do to get veterans day off” or some crap like that.  Again, nothing bad but they didn’t like it. I told the principal that no, I am not going to resign.  I said that I do however feel like if I don’t resign there will be a bulls eye on my back.  She said no, but this is it, if you mess up then you’re gone.  I felt that was fair enough, not a problem, let me get back to work on Monday. Here is the thing, during this conversation, the director who has only been there for a month was talking negative to me the entire time. It got to the point that the principal had to cut her off and tell her to keep on the matter at hand.  The director is not a bad lady, she is their for the kids and she wants to try something new.  What she failed to see or listen from others is that my coworkers and I had tried numerous times to try something new and were shot down.  I’ll be honest, it got to the point where I was just there for the kids and really didn’t care about anything else.  The thing that set me off the most and why I decided to put in my resignation, is that she said i was not a team player.  I think the fact that I came in on my days off, while not getting paid, to work on our school makes me a team player.   Telling my staff that i will get between them and a student so they don’t get hit and hurt, makes me a team player. Taking pictures of our open house grand opening, while not asking to get paid, makes me a team player. Just basically being their for the safety of my coworkers and keeping the kids from going off, makes me a team player. I was hoping that my supervisor would step in and stick up for me but that didn’t happen.  I told the director that i’m not going to walk around the school with a smile on my face 24/7, anyone that knows me can tell you i’m not like that.  I turned in my resignation and thanked them for the opportunity.  I was grateful that the principal let me come in on Monday and say goodbye to the kids.  I would love to go in and ask to resend my resignation.  I’m just afraid that if I do that and they say yes, I would sneeze the wrong way and get fired within a week.

School… can’t wait to be done with my masters.  My only regret that i am having right now is that i should stayed with business as my major.  Instead, I am doing healthcare administration.  I would like to end up working with the VA, so I’m guessing this degree along with my bachelors in business will probably workout well for me.

Speaking of school, what’s up with President Obama’s plan to make two years of community college free? This makes no sense.  Here are the issues that I see.  1) Who is going to be able to take advantage of this?  Is someone like myself who get school loans going to be able to do it?  Is there going to be a GPA requirement of let’s say 2.5.  What if Jimmy has a 2.5 one semester then a 2.3 the next.  Is he going to be able to continue under probation or be dropped.  If he gets the 2.3 does he need to repay that money.  2) College’s wont do this for free, so whose paying?  Are taxpayers going to foot the bill or will the government let schools use it as a tax incentive?  3) Having universities take credits from community colleges is a pain in the ass now. Will it get harder once it is free?  4) If you take advantage of the free two years, are you eligible to apply for grants and loans after the two years.  5) If you are already in college and lets say a junior, can you use one of those free years for your senior year or is it only the first two years?   I’m just not a fan of this. If tax payers are the ones who have to pay for this, then those of us who are in school currently or have graduated, will be paying not only our own loans, but others as well.  The only good thing other than someone getting an education is, this may cause other college’s or universities to lower their tuition.  They will be losing money if Jimmy says well I was going to go to UNI all four years, but if I can get two years free then transfer, i’ll do it.  Instead of one year at UNI being $17,000 for an instate freshman, they lower the cost to just under $10,000.

That’s it for now folks.

1/05/15

Well, today was the first day back at work in 2 weeks.  The kids seemed excited about being back, some of the teachers including myself, could have used a few more days off.  The students really were not that bad today with the exception of one, but even then, he just threw a fit more then anything.  Again, I have to remind myself that these kids are here because of behavioral issues and they are not going to change overnight.  Today though was the first time I called a student’s parent about his behavior.  It’s upsetting when you call a parent and they respond the same way the child would.  These kids are truly a product of their environment.  I have two students who I am going to miss the most whenever I decide to leave.  The one thinks she is a gangster, when really, she is smart but being smart isn’t cool in her “hood”.  The other kid was without a father figure for his entire life due to his dad being in prison.  His dad is out now and instead of trying to be a dad, he is trying to be the young boys friend.  This puts stress on mom.  She has acted as mother and father, being the disciplinary and the comfort.  Now dad is in the picture and wants to be the friend, this kid would of course rather listen to dad.  For some reason though, the mom as told me that my student comes home talking about me and how he respects and likes me.  It’s kind of funny because when I normally yell at someone all the time, they end up not liking me. Maybe he just likes the feeling that someone cares..then again, most of these kids probably feel the same.

I’m not at Starbucks writing this which is a change.  I’m at home waiting for my wifey to get here. The weather sucks…and she just walked in. 🙂  So yeah, the weather sucks and we are supposed to get 5-7 inches of snow.  I fkn hate snow.

I wish I could will the lottery.  I don’t even need to when $5 million, just like $500,000.  I know some people say mo money mo problems, but damn, mo money mo bills being paid. lol  I hate living paycheck to paycheck but hey, at least I’m getting a paycheck.  If I won $5 million, what would I do?  My wife and i have talked over this scenario many a times, even though we know the shit aint going to happen.  We would give our siblings a small chunk of change, probably like $20 grand each.  I’d make sure my nieces and nephews had a little for a graduation present.  Buy my parents and wifey’s parents new cars.  Then probably just put the rest in a CD or something.  Really when you think about it, $5 million is not a lot, but it is 5 million more than what i have now.

12/16/2014

Its funny how I can remember a song lyric from 25 years ago..as I’m singing father figure by George Micheal, yet I can’t remember a damn password for a log in that I just created two days ago.

1471400_10152885691579326_3214522366375465497_n I bought myself a new toy last week. Do I know how to play it? No.  Do I have the patience to learn? Hell no.  Why did I buy it?  No fkn clue.  I think it’s more therapeutic than anything. You get to hit something and make sounds.  Laugh if you want, but the shit works.

I’ve had vertigo for the past few weeks.  Thankfully off and on and not everyday.  I have to give it to those who suffer from it everyday.  It’s like having a really bad hangover. I wish there was a pill I could take to stop the damn room from spinning.  Normally when you’re not feeling well, you can lay down, but damn, as soon as you close your eyes, the spinning sensation comes to play.

I was watching a video about these people who waited in line at a Houston mall for the new Jordan shoes to be released. There was reports of fighting and shots fired, all over a shoe that bares the name of a man that could give two shits about you.  Seriously, I could do is laugh. This young generation is so materialistic that it’s sad.  I bet if footlocker were to attach a job application to the box, that line would be cut in half.  Of course that’s just ignorant of me to say, I’m sure that those in line took the day off from work to get these must have shoes …but who am I kidding?

The one thing I’m grateful for growing up was that my parents didn’t make it about brand names.  I remember I wanted those damn Reebok Pumps so bad and my dad bought me Hoops instead which were a generic type of Pumps.  Boy was I mad…if I could have said “what the fuck” when I was 10, I probably would have.  But now that I’m older, I have to laugh about it.  There is no way in hell that I’m paying $100 for brand named shoes for my nieces and nephews. Shit I won’t even spend that on a pair of shoes for myself now.  If their parents want to spend that on them, so be it, it’s their money.  But uncle Robert just can’t do it. lol

I got talked to at work about the way that I handled a student who was getting mouthy with the teacher.  A coworker of mine went to the principle (our boss) and told her that i threw a kid into one of the rooms and held him against the wall.  Thankfully, I had three other people there to witness what actually happened. I was not mad that the coworker went and said something, it just shows she is caring for the well being of the student.  What I was pissed about was she didn’t come to me about it or go to the assistant principle who is technically our supervisor (chain of command).  I’m a confrontational kind of person.  If you mess up or I think you messed up, I’m going to you. I know that not all people are like that, oh well.